Merriel
by TheRoommate
Summary: Based on our stupid adventures in DnD. Designed to be funny and slightly sweet, but mostly stupid.


Merriel

Mornings in the guild house were as chaotic and unorganized as the group that resided in it. **AELAR** stood in front of the stove, slaving over it to make those who felt like eating a wonderful breakfast. Sassafras waited by the doorway; he was too large to fit within the skinny entrance to the kitchen.

The house was unusually quiet this morning – a sign that some of the members were out doing errands. Dabriel entered through the kitchen's other entrance and took a seat in the empty table. "HOW YOU DOIN' MOTHA-FUCKA'?" Sassafras asked.

"I am doing well," Dabriel responded. "Although I have not copulated with any maternal persons."

"NO, IT'S A SAYING-" Sassafras tried explaining before giving up.

There was a moment of silence, and then **AELAR** spoke. "So Dab, I see (through my high insight) that you are not drunk today."

"Indeed," Dabriel replied. "I have chosen to abstain from liquor for the remainder of this week."

"May I ask why that is?" **AELAR** unfortunately rolled low on his diplomacy check. So whereas he was trying to ask politely interjected with a little bit of curiousity, **AELAR** instead sounded like a creepy preteen who's voice was cracking. Dab, due to his low charisma, did not take notice.

"It is for religious purposes," Dabriel said. The conversation died from there.

_We could have had it ALLLLLL~!_

"I think Ricken is awake," **AELAR** informed the others. Just as he had predicted, Ricken appeared in the kitchen, singing some bad showtunes. Right after Ricken, Merrick showed up.

"WHAT UP MOTHA-FUCKER?" Sassafras asked Merrick.

"NOTHIN' MUCH. WHAT CHU DOIN'?" Merrick responded.

"JUST HANGING LOW, BROTHA. BEEN WAITING FOR **AELAR** TO MAKE A FINE ASS MEAL."

"OH HELL YEAH," Merrick responded before taking a seat near Dabriel. "Hi," he said nonchantly.

"Good evening," Dabriel responded with equal unethusiasm. Finally, the meal was served, and **AELAR** took a seat on the table. As they ate, Sassafras decided to roll a perception check and got a natural 20. (_Ding Ding Ding, Good Job!_) He noticed Dab and Merrick holding hands underneath the table. (_Ooo the drama._)

After everyone was done eating, Ricken congradulated **AELAR** with a song from the 90s about women and rings and putting it on them as a thank you for the meal. Afterward, zhe headed to hir room to do bard stuff. Sassafras motioned for Merrick to come to him. He did. "MOTHERFUCKER, HELP A RABBIT OUT," he said.

"I THOUGHT YOU'S A BUNNY," Merrick said.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP," Sassafras said and left with Merrick outside.

Dabriel offered to help do the dishes. As they scrubbed, washed, and towel dried in perfect harmony, **AELAR** decided to say, "So I couldn't help but nose around and talk a lot and be diplomatic, but I noticed that there's something going on between you and Merrick." This time, **AELAR**'s diplomacy was high enough.

"We should move this conversation somewhere private," Dab said, and **AELAR** agreed.

Meanwhile…

Sassafras sat outside gasping. "THAT WAS A TIRING WALK."

"YO SASS, WE'RE BARELY IN THE FRONT YARD," Merrick said.

"LISTEN UP," Sassafras said. "I KNOW YOU AND DAB ARE A THING."

"What? No." Merrick responded.

"HIGGA PLEASE," Sassafras continued. "I WANT YOU TO SIT ON MY LAP."

"Why your lap?" Merrick asked. "I can hear you from here."

"MOTHAFUCKA I'M GOING TO TELL YOU A STORY," Sassafras said. So using his high acrobatics, Merrick triple flipped unto Sassafras's fat folds and got comfy.

"NOW LISTEN, MOTHAFUCKA. I BEEN SEEING YOU EYEING THEM BARMAIDS AND I JUST WANT TO SAY THEY SOME PRETTY BITCHES. BUT IT'S OKAY TO LIKE DAB, HE'S A COOL FUCKA. YOU JUST GOTTA BE HONEST WIT THAT BITHC. "

"Sass, how are you so wise?"

"ITS CAUSE IM FAT."

Back in the house…

Dabriel entered **AELAR**'s room for the first time; it was in the basement. Some light managd to enter through the single window connecting to the backyard of the two and a hlaf story house. Every inch of wall was covered with posters of shirtless men, save for a single exception of a fully clothed woman. This woman happened to be Anwen.

Dab and **AELAR** stood staring at one another, both having equal insight and trying to read each other. It was a stand off and both felt mildly uncomfortable. Finally, **AELAR** brok the silence.

"So Dab, you were going to tell me something."

Dabriel looked down, like a child being scolded. "Merrick and I have been seeing each other in private. He made me promise not to tell."

"Is he the reason you aren't being stupidly drunk?" **AELAR** asked.

"Yes."

"Then I approve," **AELAR** said.

A little time later…

Merrick passed by Ricken's room on his way to find Dabriel. Ricken was playing a harp wile singing The Quark Song. He went to the kitchen to find **AELAR** sipping tea with a picture of Anwen lying on the table. "Uh, hey **AELAR**, have you seen Dab? I wanted to borrow some liquor from him."

"He's in his room," **AELAR** said, with a creepy knowing look on his face. Merrick ignored him and walked down the hall. He opened the door to Dabriel's room to find him standing near his window looking towards the village outside.

Merrick gave Dab a hug from behind. He let go after a few seconds and said, "We need to talk."

"As a three foot man, I have needs Dab," Merrick began.

"I concur," Dabriel said. "You require sleep, food, water, and affection. Do I not provide the latter?"

"You do. It's just that I don't know why you turn me on. It's kind of weird."

"I think it had to do with timing and luck," Dabriel said.

"Do you mind if we just continue keeping this secret?" Merrick said.

Dab was silent for a moment. "Yes. It is okay with me."

"Okay great," Merrick said. He gave Dab a quick kiss on the cheek. "I have to go do something for Sass, but I'll see you later." Merrick ran off, and Dab didn't stop smiling.

_Good, good. I can use this secret to my advantage. This people they don't know just how much trouble they're going to be into._


End file.
